Date Everything! Review – The Beautiful Art of Conversation

Date Everything! on PS5 Pro

Visual novels are a unique phenomenon in the gaming space. The genre excels at allowing narratives to breathe and develop, but lacks the level of graphical fidelity and gameplay innovation that can serve as engaging hooks. This means that the storytelling must be truly captivating, the characters are worth investing in, and the player’s choices matter. For Sassy Chap Games‘ Date Everything!, it seems that the developers have nailed exactly what needs to be done.

It is a premise that is hilarious to grasp. As a fresh employee at megacorp Valdivian, the AI revolution instantly makes you surplus to requirements, sending you home with no real job and plenty of free time. Cue mysterious messages from a hacker, and players will find themselves at the centre of a larger mystery at play, with the Dateviators glasses being the key.

This experimental piece of tech is what makes Date Everything! works, allowing you to manifest inanimate objects into their true forms and, as the name of the game suggests, date them. Thus begins a never-ending journey of witty dialogue, intriguing worldbuilding, and charming personalities that you will probably never see coming.

After meeting Skylar Specs, the Dateviators come to life, and learning more about the rules of this new dating world, the game starts to open up, giving you free rein to explore the house and speak to any object you might have a hankering to date. It is clear that the studio thoroughly enjoyed themselves when designing the 100+ Dateables. Their names are always fun and on point, and so are their character designs. Who knew a bathtub could be so glamorous, or that a safe could be so enticing?

It can be overwhelming as a thought, but the game has put in measures to help you pace yourself. Each day limits you to five interactions with five different Dateables, and the time of day also matters.

As you become more familiar with the politics going around the house, storylines can overlap, creating an even more enticing proposition for those who want to see it all the way through.

Every Dateable in Date Everything! has a unique personality and quirks, which you must pick up on quickly if you want to form a connection with them. You could engage in flirty exchanges with those who like it, go all anti-social with certain characters, or pursue extreme actions to set the stage.

There is a clear incentive to know these individuals or groups with more interest, which opens up the avenue to become lovers, friends, or even hated enemies.

To accomplish this feat for the sheer number of characters in the game is astonishing and impressive. Some of my favourites were pure pleasant surprises, such as a fake plant looking to become real, a set of clothes hangers that are into doing stunts, a pirate captain stuck in a bottle, an actual spirit of a past tenant looking for purpose, and yes, the many doors within the house itself.

It helps that they are all masterfully voiced by a stellar cast of industry talents. There are a ton of recognisable names who continue to deliver, allowing the colourful cast to leap off the screen and leave a lasting imprint on your love-seeking brain. And even for those that are not immediately identifiable, their performances will undoubtedly lead you to find out more about them, such is the level of expertise on display.

While relationships and in-game storylines vary in length and depth, it never gets boring or repetitive. There are genuine relationships at play here that you can discover and be a part of, and the writing does a great job of connecting the dots without ever overstaying its welcome. And once you have reached a relationship stage with a Dateable, you are encouraged to move on and explore more.

Furthermore, building these relationships rewards you with points that feed into the game’s S.P.E.C.S system, essentially your stats as a potential partner. Getting stronger in different areas will open up even more interesting dialogue options, and add to the fun of this dating spree. Collectibles collected during Date Everything! are also worthwhile keepsakes to remember your partners by.

Coming into Date Everything!, I was expecting a standard visual novel affair. What I didn’t expect was a thoroughly entertaining reflection of values when it comes to relationships and people, all deftly expressed with characters made of everyday objects and conversations that run the gamut of the human experience. If you were hoping for the sparks to fly, I assure you, you are in for a whole fireworks display with Date Everything!.

Date Everything! is now available on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X|S, PC, and Nintendo Switch.